Friday, May 25, 2012

Six seconds

We live in an area where commutes are the norm.  The BHitW does his part by commuting usually over an hour each way to his job.  In a different state.  I, like any dutiful spouse, am always worried about him when he is away from the house.  For some reason, I get particularly upset at the idea that he might have an accident in the morning and I wouldn't know until he just didn't show up that night (what, I never claimed I was a rational thinker).  So now he texts me when he gets to work in the morning to put my mind at ease (of course those mornings he forgets are a little stressful).  And he calls when he is leaving work to let me know he is on his way (these are the craziest hours of my day, the kids seem to know there is a count-down to how long they can act like feral monkeys) (wait, are all monkeys feral?).  Anyway, most days, by the time he calls in the afternoons, my phone battery has died and the phone is either in a different room charging or I couldn't hear it ringing over the monkey noises.  So then, logically, he leaves me voicemail.  I noticed one day that every I'm-on-my-way-home voicemail from him lasts exactly six seconds.  I could see three months of coming home calls and every single one was six seconds long.  This is how long it takes him to say, "Hi, its whatevertime, I'm on my way home, love you."  I find this hysterical.  He is nothing if not consistent.  Last week, I looked at my phone and noticed a missed call and a voicemail from him.  That was eight seconds long. My heart skipped a beat.  Was there some sort of nuclear disaster in the city?  Was he in an accident?  Was he being hijacked?  Have secret codes to tell me?  Nope, just a little extra love that day.  Shew.

Share a horrible commuting story? How about one about feral monkeys? Love messages from your spouse?

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